Incident with Crocodile or how to fly with scooter

Another quantity in the equation “adventure” that could be either variable or constant quantity is the time (the meteorological one). In particular – the rain. In our case – with sudden effect, but heavy, raining cats and dogs, with thunder crashing in the gray-black sky. In other words – apocalypse now! Honestly! We missed only Wagner!

We hang around for a while in the workshop and figuring out the constancy of the quantity “rain”, we took unanimous decision to leave. Here goes! Time (in terms of astronomical one) dangerously advanced, here it gets dark around 18:30 and poor us if we were still driving on the roads. On top of all, the battery of the tablet – GPS was about to die. Beautiful!

We chose a relatively calm moment, put on the raincoats and the helmets, last exchange of pleasantries with our new friends and “on the road again….”!

Have you ever driven a scooter in heavy rain? This robe against rain is a complete joke! Meaningless. You become wet in no time. (Here the quantity “time” now accepts negative values, please forgive me Archimedes). And yet – the front protection of the helmet blurred very quickly that makes no sense of using it and the driver has to drive with raindrops in his eyes and no sun beams in his hair. The last, in this particular case is was impossible phenomenon because of two obvious reasons – the sun was high above the gray-black blanket called sky … and since we were wearing helmets even if there were sun still it would not reach MY hair 🙂

So we drove in the described conditions an hour or two, time became a relative quantity (hello Einstein), turned at some junctions we have memorized, as the battery of the tablet was already dead and found ourselves on a narrow path. Suddenly, the vigilant eye of navigator Dar saw on the road…. a crocodile! At least 1.5 meters long, but… with crushed head. Someone helpfully has stuffed it in this very unusual but preserving manner.

Navigator signaled the driver about the rare find as the latter was concentrated in the raindrops in his eyes and did not notice it. Stop motor. Raise the ailerons, switch on the reverse and backpedal. We reached back the rare find, observed it with undisguised and unhealthy interest; a local driver stopped beside us and launched a discussion. Some laughter, some banter … For the observer, the current role of the navigator as she has got off the scooter (and thanks god! later you will understand why) the dialogue had the following subtitles:

Local driver: Hey dude, looking at this very crocodile, you have just run over it! Ha ha ha

Bulgarian driver: I even did not understand how it happened, but it was a great fun! Hahahaha

After a few jokes, new friends decided to separate and everyone to take his way. And here, in this very moment, the interesting part began!

Warning – people with nervous disorder, weak heart, urticarial, etc. please be advised that heavy scenes follow!!!

Here is the story as seen by the observer Dar:

“I begin with the assumption that time again adopted relative value and the following scenes are played out in slow motion.

Because of the tension, of the cold, of the testosterone, and god-knows-of-what-what-else, one hand of Dan pressed down the accelerator, the other pressed down the brake. The effect of this maneuver was overwhelming and instantaneous. Tires played, rear served, hitting down the local driver who has stopped nearby (already ex friend), thus freeing up space for the climactic stunt, namely, free flight in the ditch by the road that was at least three meters deep. Double toeloop followed by a triple rittberger! Five four, five six … the assessments of some figure skating judges, if there were any around.

Speaking about the truth and having in mind the safe distance of time elapsed, I should admit that the jump was very precise. Dan perfectly landed (in this case “watered”) exactly in the groove of the ditch and the water in, because of the rain, softened his jump. Later on he stumbled and fall aside, may be due to the toeloop, as he was not accustomed … I found him a little pale…

At this very moment local people from all directions began to materialize. Like Vietnamese from Cu Chi tunnels! One local pulled Dan out of the ditch, another one pulled out the scooter, third one gave him his small waist bag (where men usually keep all valuable things – money, passports, photos from the army, compass, etc.)

I was speechless observing what is happening, with a helmet in my hands, then shouted at Dan, a local talked to me in local language with the firm conviction that I understand, rain continues to pour over in the dusk and the feeling of surrealism conquered me completely.”

The balance – a strong fear and a little chafed leg of Dan. What is a hero without wounds? Everything else – no problem! Even the scooter! Afterwards, in the water again, but this time chlorinated (the pool of the guest house) and under the horizontal moon of the southern hemisphere, we thought about “if” conditional – “if this had happened … if that had happened…”

Many thanks to that or those who keep an eye on us! Bless them!

In the bottom line, the only thing we regretted later on was that we did not take any pictures to memorize the moment. Now, you have to trust our plain words!


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